Dark Side of the Moon
by charlotteblue05
Summary: After Hogwarts, Remus struggles to find his new identity away from the comforting eyes or his past life, and into reality. Rating may change, don't really know though, depends on how I feel.Eventually RLOC.
1. Chapter 1

Hey, I'm KD and this is my fisrt time posting at fan As you may notice the more your read, I may have alot of spelling errors. This is because I have a very weird/old version of word, and it does not include a spell check. Very odd. Anyways, yeah. I hope you all read it and enjoy it. PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! It would be greatly appreciated. I recommend listening to the song "Running up that Hill" by Placebo. My friend also recommends listening to the song "You Spin me right round" by Dead or Alive. (ignore this crazy girl) Anyways, enjoy and review. Merci beacoup!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. (But I am married to Sirius Black. jk)

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Darkness. A never ending darkness. Silence, peace, calm. Overwhelming, piercing, fiery pain. Ouch.

I moan and roll over onto what was now my back. Slowly, I began to feel around. Grass, dirt, gravel, water. Why is there water? Why is it so thick? I slowly open my eyes, and wince at the light. I focus what little energy I had left inside of me, and looked up into the sky. It's dawn, and I can see the moon slipping silently behind the mountains in the distance. Above me lay the never ending heavens, filled with the most beautiful morning stars you could ever see. The sky is lit with fiery colors of purple, red , and orange. In the distance opposite of the moon, a faint light is coming. The sun. Silence. Peace and Silence.

Easing myself gently, I looked over at what I believed was water. Needless to say, it's not. It was in reality it's a pool of my own blood left over from the night before. The wind pickes up suddenly, causing all the leaves around me to shift forward and get caught in my already tousled hair. I pulled them out and sat there breathing slowly. In, out, In, out. It hurt to breath. There was pain everywhere, from my head to my toes.

I decided I had spent enough time just sitting on the ground. I needed to get up, and find my things…wherever they may be. I examined myself closely. Cuts, bruises, everything. The worst one was a piercing hole in my side. I assume that was where the pool of blood came from. I struggled to rememeber how I received such a nasty puncture, but I came up with nothing. I usually don't remember anything after a night like last night.

With an extreme amount of effort, I picked myself up and touched the side of the crumbling bark of the tree I was laying against. I was naked, this was going to be a problem. The wind picked up again and I shivered. I should move. Moving would be the best option. Imagine if a muggle comes along. How the hell do I explain myself being naked and not knowing where I am?

I begin to walk fairly quickly through the forest, looking for anything that may be familiar to me, but unfortunately, everything is foreign. Foreign land, Foreign earth, Foreign rivers. I walked for a good half hour before coming across a clearing where I saw my bag laying nearby. I rushed over to it quickly picked it up, diging through it frantically pulling out anything to cover myself. I slowly pick up my new clothes and stare at them.

I supposed I should not call them new. There just my back up clothes I wear after full moons. I have to rotate clothing because I don't have enough money to actually BUY new ones. I sigh, and slowly pull them on. Nothing fancy, nothing special, and extremly loose. I don't need any more pain coming from my clothes, then the amount of pain I'm already in. I then began to make my way out of the forest and through the countryside near by this little tiny town. In the distance I see woman hanging laundry, butchers getting ready, slaughering the already dead animals. The blood from the animals runs down the boards, entering the thick matted grass underneath, nourished form many years of blood. I cant stand to see so much blood, so I advert my eyes.

The road is long, but I don't mind. I'm trying to remember last night,but it seems almost impossible. I get bits and pieces; me tearing apart a tree, me killling a chicken, me eating the chicken, me fighting another werewolf. A stronger werewolf, A better werewolf. Angrily, I kick the dust filled road. Even in the werewolf community I'm not wanted. I walk on.

Finally I reach the end of the road, and I see Sirius smoking a cigarette. He's reading a battered up copy of some book written in French. He sees me and smiles, but when he sees my face frowns. He closes the book, puts out his cigarette, and rushes over to me. He takes my bag and we begin to walk towards his motorcycle. Another typical Full moon comes and goes. Before I put on one of Sirius spare helmets I look over at the mountains in the distance. The moon is barely visible over them now. Swiftly, an overwhelming urge to run takes me. I control it and stare at the colors in the sky. Only 29 more days til' the full moon. Only 29 more days til' once again I'm in so much pain I can hardly stand, breath, anything. 29 more days. 29.I get on the back of the motorcycle, Sirius turns the key and we begin to speed down twisting roads into the distance. Spontaneously Sirius pulls the motorcylce up and we fly. Fly throught the sky that holds the moon. The moon that haunts me day in and day out, the moon that I hate.


	2. Chapter 2

Hey there! This is my second chapter, and I'm proud of it. So yeah, please read and review! I like to know what i'm doing wrong. Again, just keep in mind, I don't have a spell check, so let me know when there are spelling errors, and I'll try to fix them. Enjoy :)

Disclaimer- I dont own Harry Potter.

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Chapter 2 

As we flew through the sky, I kept hearing Sirius sigh. Sirius has an almost annoying habit to just keep on sighing when he wants to say something, but decides against it. Finally, he gave up and pulled the motorcycle back down again. We were on a distant highway. It was now 5 in the morning according to Sirius's watch. The road was practically empty except for the early morning muggle commuters on their way to their high paying jobs, with fancy desks, and big fat pay checks. I almost envy them, even if they aren't wizards. At least they have money to afford things like cars, and jobs, and flats with actual furniture.

Sirius pulled off his helmet, and as he did so, I noticed how tired he was. I felt guilty. He really didn't have to come and get me after full moon nights, but he did it anyway. No matter how many times I try, he always insists that I need someone to make sure I didn't have my head ripped off, or something equally as gruesome. He yawned hugley, and I saw his sharp canines. I smiled remembering when that side effect of turning into a dog happened. His teeth never returned to normal. In our classes he would randomly drop his quil and shout BLOODY TEETH causing everyone in the class to stare at him as if he were crazy. I smiled again. I missed the peacefullness of Hogwarts. But I am not 11 anymore. I'm 19, and should be acting like it.

He turned to me, and smiled as if he were exhausted. "I'm insanely hungry, and I have a feeling you are too. I don't care if you are or not, but were going to get food. Put back on your helmet, unless you want even more messy hair." He turned and put back on his helmet and I smiled and did the same.

About ten minutes later Sirius pulled up to a random roadside diner. It was an average diner ; small, motorcycles parked in front of it, happy couples on their way to places, disgruntled truck drivers drinking coffee and smoking, your basic muggle image of a diner. I wondered how Sirius manged to find such a place, being a wizard and all, but I didn't press matters. We both got off of the motorcycle and headed towards the entrance. The building was small and looked like an old trailor. The sky was overcast over head, it would most likely rain later. I wished it would rain now. I wanted to feel cold. It would sooth my now aching body.

We entered and sat down oposite of each other, and Sirius yawned again. The waitress came over and smiled at Sirius. He flashed one of his award winning smiles at the 20 year old, and she giggled and blushed. I looked at her, but she didn't see me. I desperately wanted coffe, more then anything in the world. She poured him coffee and then turned her attention to me. She was fairly thin, and had a pale complextion. She had blue eyes and had freckles all over her nose. She was wearing a typical dinner outfit. When she saw me she jumped and dropped the coffee pot. Coffee splashed everywhere, hitting her ankles and her apron, and the glass from the pot shattered into tiny glass shards. She froze almost as if she were in terror, but finally managed to grab a napkin and began to clean it all up apologizing. I stared out the window. Sirius helped the girl with the glass shards, and she soon went on her way. She didn't come back to give me coffee. Typical.

I turned my attention to the window.I sat and stared at the road. It was barren now, the empty road with the distant field stretching for miles. The sky was getting a little lighter, but not much. It was still over cast. I suddenly felt exhausted. I yawned and fogged up the glass in front of me. I smeared it with my finger and drew a crescent moon. I didn't realize I had done so until after it faded. Startled, I looked up and saw Sirius staring at me. He was frowning and drinking the coffee. When I turned, his frown still didn't leave his face. Was it possible for someone to look even more disapointed with you even though there facial expression didn't change?

Sirius sighed and handed over his cup of coffee to me. I didn't want it, for I could see how tired he was. However, a huge part of my brain wanted the stimulation of the coffee. The rich warm liquid jogging my memory, filling up the empty spaces, making me feel whole again. I reluctantly took it, and proceeded to down the entire cup. Sirius was still frowning at me. Finfally he sighed and looked at me again. "You look like shit Remus. Bad night?"

It was my turn to sigh. It wasn't like Sirius to press matters on my full moon nights. Sirius had a way of just understanding, and leaving it at that. He liked the present, hated the past. His futures were endless, and there was no turning back. To ask me about the full moon startled me. I must look pretty damn bad for him to want to say something.

"I don't honestly remember." I replied, staring at my hands. "All I remember was fighting another werewolf, but even that is a blur. Oh yeah, and I killed a chicken and ate it." I laughed at the chicken; I was known for killing chickens. Sirius didn't laugh.

He nodded, and muttered, "well that explains it." He stared at my side for a moment. "You really need stitches Remus, I mean, that's why that waitress jumped. You look like you were in a fucking car wreck for god's sake. You should go to Saint Mungos." We were now getting stares form people in the diner. I must look scarier then anything, and it wasn't helping that Sirius was stating the wizarding hospital, that these muggle have no idea exists.

I said nothing. I stared at the table. There was a stain in the corner of it as well as a crack. The rest of the table was this off white color and it gleamed underneath the florescent lights. shine. Nothing but bright clean shine from extensive cleaning. I felt the anger rising. I hated doctors more then anything. There was nothing worse then a doctor. All they ever did was make me wait in waiting rooms for hours on end, even letting people who came in after me in first. They then would call my name and basically tell me I needed stitches which I knew an hour and a half ago. Nurses wouldn't make contact with my eyes. Doctors shifted uncomfortably, even going to lengths to mess up and have to start over again. Sometimes, the doctor wouldn't even work on me. When I would leave, people in the waiting room would grab their children as if I were going to attack them right on the spot. Some smiled politely, but I knew better. Those smiles were just pity smiles, half smiles, forced smiles. Ultimately, I could see beyond the smile. They were scared smiles, filled with terror at the thought that people like me even exisist. Scared of me, my way of life, and ultimately my kind. I vowed never to go into a hospital again unless I needed major surgery. I can fix my own cuts. The cuts I have now aren't that bad, I would even go to lengths to say they were minor. I've fixed worse cuts before, I could do it again.

"No." I said clearly and simply. Sirius' eyes widened."No? he said sounding stunned. "You look like you got into a fight or something! you're bleeding, you have a black eye, a hole in your side, you need a fucking doctor! Just look at yourself! Anyone with a brain would say that!" I looked at him hard. "No." I repeated again. "There is nothing they can do to make me feel better Sirius. Nothing. I'm not going to a doctor. End of story." I stared out the window again.

Finally I looked up at Sirius. He was angry now. His eyes were cold and distant. He just stared at me. "Sometimes Remus, you're even more stubborn than I am. I wish you would just swallow your fucking pride once in a while. You should be able to admit when you need help." He glared.

Now I was angry. "Oh, shut it Sirius. I hate it when you act so god damn superior to me! I can admit when I need help, unlike some people I know." I glarred pointedly at Sirius. Sirius' eyes narrowed. At this point there was no stopping my wave of anger. I was tired fustrated, and now just angry. I was in no mood for a lecture, so I began to retaliate pulling out anything that I knew would hurt Sirius somehow. " At least I know that I need to go to a doctor, I just choose not to. But you? You couldn't even admit to us that you were actually dissowned for 3 weeks Sirius!You barely let us help you with any of your family problems! I try to be your friend, and all you do is push me away! Who's being open with whom Sirius?" He flinched. His eyes looked liked doors closed behind them. They were naturally grey, but now that he was angry, they took on this bone chiling quality that would scare anyone. He was silent. He stared at his hands, and as he did so I saw an overwhelming sadness take over him. I instantly felt guilty. "Sirius…" I tried but he shook his head.

"I told you plenty of things." Sirius replied. "Do you think it was easy for me to admit to people that my own parents didn't even care about me? That they hated me for absolutely no reason whats so ever? My family dissowened me. You're a werewolf for gods sake and they didn't dissown you. Me? I'm nothing. I'm nothing to nobody, and you still lecture me. You want to know why I don't say things to people? It's because I'm afraid of fucking getting shot down once again. I try to help people, and what do I get? Nothing. Just anger and people who won't listen to their supposed friend. Friends that I would die for." He finished and as he did so, I saw his eyes. They were dark and sad at the same time. He pulled out money for the coffee form his pocket and slamed it down onto the table."Do whatever the fuck you want Remus, I'm just trying to help you. For once in your life, I want to be a person who doesn't run from fear of you, I want to be your friend." He sighed, and glared at me again. He proceeded to get up, and he grabbed his leather jacket. It was the jacket that James bought for him 2 years ago. He pushed his black hair out of his eyes and stormed out of the restaurant. He didn't even wait for me.

I silently got up from the table and headed for the door. I turned around and saw the waitress staring at me. She was pale, and stood as if she was a statue. I glared at her, and she jumped again, turning even more pale. Screw the stupid muggle, she didn't understand. It was then that I felt everyone in the restaurant staring at me. I took a good look at her, and stormed out of the restaurant.

I found Sirius standing by his motorcycle smoking a cigarette. He was pale, and he said nothing to me when I came over. He finished the cigarette, put what was left of it out onto the ground and silently walked over to the bike. I stood there and didn't know what to do. Sirius was angry at me. I had never yelled at him like that. James and I never brought up his parents. It was a very touchy subject. I just wanted him to feel the pain that was jetting through me uncontrollably. Finally Sirius looked up at me. "Are you getting on the bike or not?" He stared. "Because if you want to, you can stay with those muggle twits and be stranded here for hours. You choose." I said nothing. "Sirius…" I said quietly, "I'm sorry. I'm just…" I couldn't think of the right words. "I'm just sorry." Sirius starred at me. Finally after what felt like an hour he said"Come on, I'll take you home."

Home. I didn't want to go home. I hated my home. It was a dirty, messy, and practically empty. It was in a terrible part of town, one that even I was scared to live in. Home. I couldn't face the thought of going somewhere like that.

Sirius saw my look. "Or you know, you can come to my place and crash. Goodness knows I've got the space." Sirius mumbled trying to make me feel better. I sighed. "No, I really should go home and sleep. I'm exhausted and if I stand any longer I think I might pass out." Plus, even though Sirius didn't look it, I knew he was still angry with me. He needed space, and I needed space. I would just have to get over it and go home. Sirius nodded understandingly, and tossed me my helmet. I put it on, and Sirius started up the engine again, and we drove down the highway to the hell hole that was my life.


	3. Chapter 3

Ah, a new chapter! Isn't it exciting! So far this is my favorite chapter. I just love it. Please Rate and Enjoy!

Disclaimer- I dont own Harry Potter.

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Chapter 3

After about an hour of driving we finally arrived in London. At this point I was insanely tired, and it took every ounce, muscle, and fiber in my body to stay awake and hold on. Sirius pulled up into the neighborhood that I lived in. It was beginning to rain slightly, so Sirius began to drive faster to get me out of it. Sirius was a pretty careful driver when it came to motorcycles, but somehow he managed to hit a pothole, and I damn near fell off. Luckily he pushed me back on all the while slaming down on his breaks. He was grumbling and had to stop and look at his tires. He was fuming, and muttering about the poor conditions of muggle roads. Finally he managed to get back on the bike and take me into a wizarding community and back to my flat. After what seemed like hours, we finally pulled up to the front of my apartment building. It was now raining almost steadily, and I shivered slightly. It felt nice on my bruised body, and I didn't complain. I took a look at the from of the apartment building. It had a sign on it that was old and read 815 Boardhouse way ontop of the dingy brick that covered the apartment building. I stared at the sign.

A long time ago, when that sign was first put up, the gold numbers and letters had been a magnificent gold that reflected the light that came through the city. The building itself had once been newly built, and new wizarding families in the area would come and move in as tenants and allow their children to play in the street without having to worry about them. Their dogs, and cats could roam freely troughout the neighborhood without risk of getting hit by cars, or just disapering all together. The tenants were typical families. Sure they had their problems, but they had been generally nice people to live around. They were civilized people. As the years passed, more efficient homes had been built in a nearby neighborhood, for more expensive prices. They were bigger, flashier houses, with all the necessities you could ever desire. The families that could afford such a thing left, leaving the people who could not behind to live in the now sub par homes.

More years passed, and the neighborhood was now infested with crack addicts, drunks, prostitutes, dealers, warewolves, vampires, and other muts who had no where else to go.These flats were the only places in Britian where people like myself could actually afford to live. The tenants never cared who came and went as long as they got their money. The once lovely houses were now dirty and grimy from passing cars. The almost constant battering of rain made the dirt and grim run down the once beautiful bricks. The ivy that used to cling to the building was now dead, and in it's place was colorful displays of graffiti with obsene messages scrawled into the cracks of the building. The gold lettering was now worn, battered, tired. The sidewalks cracked and aged. There were pot holes in the streets, and the ministry refused to fix them claiming that an area like this neighborhood should just be torn down. The love that once filled this neighborhood was now gone.

I stared at the now copper numbers on my flat and read the scrawled lettering of Boardhouse way. I found myself longing to live in a place where I could be accepted as those families had once been. I wanted to live where I was not feared, as well as not scared to walk down the sidewalk. I wanted nice neighbors, and enough money to fix the problems of this building, but I couldn't. This was my reality, not a fantasy. It was never going to happen. There is no use in dreaming over the impossible. I tried to close my eyes and picture how it used to be, but the image of now was estched into my memory so hard that it would not leave. I opened my eyes when Sirius tapped my sholder. He was starring at me, waiting for me to say something. I gazed at the building. I did not want to enter. I wanted to run. I turned my attention towars Sirius who was now starring at the Ancient and now crumbling building. "Welcome home…" he mumbles to me.

I look at Sirius and silence spreads between us. Sirius' is one of the few people who knows I actually knows I live in a place this bad. Sirius' first apartment was in a place like this. He knows what it's like to live this way. That was the year he was dissowned. He lived nearby this same area. He would spend days smoking, and struggling to even afford this place. Somehow, word had gotten to one of his Uncles who actualy cared about Sirius' welfare, and he gave Sirius a ton of money which he used to pay off his rent and move out of this destitute and into a nice neighborhood. After Hogwarts, Sirius' got a job, and could afford to pay off the rent himself. I have no relatives like Sirius' uncle. None of them even care, and I will always be poor. It's just a fact of life. Ask any werewolf.

A women walked down the street with a child clinging to her hand. She looked as if she was scared out of her mind. She was lost. Sirius walked over to her, he was one of the only normal looking people in this neighborhood. I got off the back of the bike, and picked up my bag and began to walk towards the door. Sirius was now done talking to the woman who was walking away in the opposite direction so fast that she looked like she was running. He leagerly walked over to me and when arrived said, "man, some people are scared shitless sometimes of nothing. The only thing here that would hurt her are the vampires, but it's day time." He laughed. I tried, but I couldn't. I could relate to that woman. I was scared to walk down these streets. If I had my way, I wouldn't have to.

"Well mate," Sirius said looking at his motorbike. "I got to go and do some major filing at my office. There is shit everywhere, and it needs to be organized." He laughed and I smiled. Sirius was not known for being the most organized person on the planet. "Anyways, James told me to tell you that he would come and check up on you tomorrow." The rain was starting to pick up now and I could feel it getting harder. "I should go, Its gonna start pouring soon. Man I want coffee, oh and cigarettes. I think I'm out." I sighed. "You really should quit Sirius" I said. He laughed. "I know…I'm just to lazy right now." He smiled sweetly. "I got to go. You need anything before I do?" I shook my head no and he looked satisfied. As he got on the bike he made sure I was still standing, put on his helmet, turned on the engine, and was soon speeding off into the distance. Far far away from this hell hole. I envied him. For a moment all I can hear is a distant car backfiring, and a dog barking. It was now raining hard, so I climbed up the crumbling steps and into the front door.

The red paint on the door was chipping, and whenever I entered, a little bit always fell off. I steped inside. The hallway smelled of cigarette smoke. It had dark hardwood floors filled with ghrime and burn marks. If you looked all the way up, you would see tons of stairs spinning round and round. The wallpaper was this old victorian styled paper, but over the course of time, it had peeled, and people could see the walls underneath. The owner of the building, Mrs.Crawford refused to pay her hard earned cash sitting on her butt all day to even improve the building ever so slightly. The air around me was thick with cigarette smoke. It was cloudy and made my eyes water. The air never changed no matter how many times I tried. I heard a cough and I turned around and sure enough there was Mrs Crawford, sitting on her old rocking chair and starring at me as if she loathed me.

Mrs. Crawford picked herself up out of her withered rocking chair and looked at me up and down for what felt like hours. While she did this I starred at her appearnce. Her hair was a thick silver grey that was tied in a tight knot ontop of her hair. She was fairly plump with wrinkles around her eyes. She had thin lips that were always chapped, and in them lay a cigarette. Her eyes were an ugly shade of hazel. One eye was practically green, the other brown and yellow. I looked at her skin. It was sallow and almost a yellowish color from all the years of smoking. She had a dark mole on one corner of her cheek. It made her look like one of those stereotypical witches in muggle fairy tales. Her back was slightly hunched over, and she held onto a cane that was knotted into the shape of ivy around a stick. She wore a flowered print night gown, with an apron wrapped around it and in one of the pockets I could see her wand pocking out. She had on a pink cartigan sweater that she never washed. She wore these old rotting slippers on her feet that were also the same dirty shade of pink. She coughed again and I realize that she had said something to me.

"I'm sorry…I didn't hear what you said." I said as nicely as I could. She ignored me like she always did and proceeded to critize me."Don't be sassy with me werewolf" she snarrled, " You heard me. Where is your bloody rent?" She smiled evily and took another drag out of her cigarette. She blew the smoke out of her mouth and right onto my face.I breathed slowly. I was getting dizzy from the smoke. I felt tired and irretable and I honestly had no money to pay for the rent. I starred at her. "Why now?" I questioned. She laughed, a bitter hacking laugh that made me cringe. "Because" she laughed again, "I know you don't actually have the money this time." Her smiled widened. "What pathetic excuse is it this time? No job? Family member died? Cat sick?" I looked at her angrily. "I Don't have a cat Mrs.Crawford. I don't have a job, and no, none of my family members are ill this time. I just don't have the money." She glarred evily at me. Her eyes made her look crazy. She took the cigarette out of her mouth and threw it onto the already charred floor. "Get out of my face werewolf" she spat at me. " Just go." With that she hit my legs with her cane. I flinched. She had hit me right where I had this awful bruise that made me limp slightly. She laughed and made her way back to her room. As I was making my way slowly towards the stairs she turned and synically said to me"Oh and werewolf, no check by the end of the week, and you'll be sleeping in the gutter. Mark my words." She laughed again and I stormed away.

I forced myself to climb 5 sets of stairs. By the time I hit my floor, I was winded, and was just about to pass out. I gripped the railing tightly when I heard a soft hissing noise and turned. Cleo. Damn it. Cleo was my neighbors demonic cat. She was one of those egyptian cats, a sphynx I believe, the ones with no hair on them. Ever since I moved in, that cat has never left me alone. Cleos favorite game was to cling to my leg for as long as possible grinding it's claws into it. Cleo began to stalk towards me hissing. I was in no mood for this. I picked up the cat who proceeded to hiss and bite my hand. I then walked over to the railing and droped it. Down the cat flew down 5 sets of stairs. I laughed. Stupid cat. I looked over the edge. It landed just like I knew it would on it's feet. Quickly before it came back for me, I opened up my door and shut it behind me.

Silence. It was a blissful feeling for me. I dropped my bag and allowed myself to collapse on the floor. I couldn't move. Every inch of my body hurt. I closed my eyes. My mind fogged over. Nothing else in the world was important anymore. Nothing. Silence, such bliss. I stayed there for a little while blocking the door and listening to nothing in particular, swimming in my thoughts. Slowly, I opened my eyes and starred up at the clock on the wall. It read 10:37 AM. I sighed, and slowly picked myself up and allowed myself to walk down the hall and to the bathroom. I needed to see myself.

I flicked on the light and turned slowly towards the mirror. I flinched when I hit my reflection. My hair was matted and had blood on the right side from a gash. My right eye was black and purple from being hit. I had dark circles underneath those. My nose had been bleeding , and the left over blood was now crusted onto my face. My lip was sliced open and was bleeding slightly. I looked at my cheek. There was a scar from one side of my left eye, to the very center of my cheek. It was bleeding, and would most likely need stitches. I then took off my jacket and my shirt. The shirt was soaked with blood on my right side. I pulled it off and looked at my chest in the mirror. It was bruised, particualrly on my left sholder, and there were cuts and scrapes all over it. Finally I looked over at my right side. There was a deep gash that was bleeding freely. It looked infected, and it was filthy with dirt. I touched it with my finger and winced. It hurt like hell. I focused the pain and soon it went away. I then took off my jeans, and looked at my legs. There was a bruise form where Mrs.Crawford hit me. Like my chest and arms, there were scratches all over them. This was going to take awhile.

I opened up the medcine cabinet and pulled out antiseptic, gauze, a towel, and a clear thread and a needle. I pulled out my wand and lay it on the sink. I was going to need it. I began by cleaning out every single cut and scratch on me. Once that was done, the towel I used was soaked in blood. I had to get a new one. I got one and then proceeded to the cuts that needed more attention. I first focused on my face. The cut from my eye to my cheek was a deep gash, but easy to fix. I threaded the needle and picked up my wand. With it, I used the spell to create fire and sterilized the needle. I put rubbing alcohal on my cut and winced at the stinging pain. I then pushed the needle into my cheek near the top and pulled the tread through. The pain was sharp and quick, but I kept on moving. In, out, in, out. After 20 stitches, I was done. I then picked up my wand, and taped my cheek with hit. The scar instantly disapeared. My cheek hurt, but it would heal and I would move on.

There was no use avoiding it any longer. I had to close the gash at my side. Slowly, I grabbed the towel and began to soak up any blood that was in the way. I then proceeded to wash it out with soap and water. It hurt, but it was getting clean. I then stitched it back up with the same proceedure as my cheek. Finally I put gauze around it. This kind of cut required more attentive cleaning. I sighed and cleaned up everything and put it back as it was. I looked at the sink. Over the past year, it was now stained with blood. I couldn't get it off no matter how hard I tried. I looked at the mirror. I was exhausted, and it showed.

Slowly I walked down a small hall and entered my bedroom. It was small, and there was a bed and an over stuffed book Self cramed with books I had collected over the years. On the wall opposite me, there was a dingy window from which I could see the many other crappy houses in my neighborhood. The wall paper was a dingy white, and the hard wood floor was brown with burn marks on it and blood stains. I hated that floor. It reminded me of really bad injuries from full moons, as well as the previous drug addicted tenants. I had to live with it though because I didn't own the building. If I did, I would knock it down. Places like this should not exsist. I sighed and pulled on pajama pants and this oversized shirt that I took from a thrift store around the corner. Those were dark times, where I was desperate for anything I could find. I climbed into bed and eased myself gingerly onto my left side as to avoid sleeping on my right. Slowly the room faded until all I could hear was the distant sound of a barking dog, and a ticking clock. Tick tock tick tock tick tock tick….tock….tick….I heard nothing, felt nothing, was nothing. Sleep. Sleep.

I am in a forest, and it's dark. Very dark, and the silence around me is mind numbing. My only instinct is to run. Run far away from the dark and the silence, run just keep running. I soon find myself practically flying through the air at such a speed it's unatural. I look down at my hands, but realize that there gone. In there place are my werewolf paws, and my claws are flexed outwards ready to strike. Trees come and go, and I duck under branches that twist and turn in kreepy maners. The trees seem to be leading me somewhere and I follow them as if in a trance.

I turn a corner roughly and enter the clearing that I was in last night. It's still dark, and the silence has still not left. The only sound I can hear is the wind and my heart beating. Suddenly I hear a crack, and I turn sharply to see my oponent, I'm ready. I tense up, hunch my sholders back, my claws are out, and I begin to growl low and menacing. Then I turn, ready to strike.

Only, no one is there. Theres nothing, just the darkness, the wind and my heart beat. It's eerie, for I heard the sound right behind me. Just then I feel it. The hot lurid breath clinging to the back of my neck. It surrounds my entire body, moving the fur on the back of my neck. It makes me eyes water. I growl again, and this time I'm ready. I hunch forward, and again growl, and again flex my claws. I turn and am face to face with him. He has huge yellow eyes, and they are angered by my presence.I can faintly see his human green eyes because there is a ring of green around his pupils. He has dark fur, and is already bigger and taller, and just overall stronger then me. I can see his muscles clenched and ready to finish what we've started. He looks angry, ready to kill but I don't care. I've never cared. All that matters is that I finish this. I'm tired of fighting with him. I lunge forward and catch him off guard, and my fangs seep deep into his chest. He whimpers in pain, but manages to scratch the side of my face causing me to recoil and hit one of the trees.

I'm laying there, numb form the pain of the tree. My fur is now scratched, and I lick the blood away from my teeth. I spit out flesh that was in my mouth from his body. I look at it and it shrinks back to human skin. I have blood dripping from my fangs, but I honestly could care less. There is nothing more important then beating him. Beating him so that I know I am better. I have to fight, I have to win.

I'm up again and I run at him, and he does the same. There is still no sound, only the sound of my heart beat hammering in my chest. There is a slight pause where I can see the crazed look in his eyes, that I know is also in mine. For a slight moment, I hear his deep breathing, feel his breath, and then we slam together. I am locked towards his jaw bitting and scratching and doing anything I can to weaken him. He is doing the same to me, but I don't feel it. I feel nothing. I scratch and bite, and soon he is weakening. If I could smile I would be smiling and laughing manichally. But I can't. I'm a wolf. Wolfs can't laugh. I soon grab hold of his snout and I hear a crack and hear him recoil and go slightly limp in my clenched jaw. I refuse to let go, and hold on tightly. Finally I drop him to the ground.

He lays there whimpering. I relax a little bit, and move in for the kill. I circle to find the correct angle in which to get him. Hurt him for all that he's done to me. Suddenly he's up and is growling and he lurches his head upwards and howls. He howls in pain and I am aware he is calling others. I won't give him the chance. Suddenly, he stops howling and turns and rushes at me jumping on me and pinning one of my sholder blades to the ground. I try to push him off but he has to tight of a hold on me. Soon he releases my sholder blade, and grabs hold of my right side. He seeps his sharp and long fangs deep in my side. The pain is so intense I can't feel anything. There is nothing around me, nothing. I see lights flash before my eyes. I hear howling and I can hear the earth trembling from underneath me. The wind picks up and leaves scatter everywhere franticaly as if even they are afraid to be in our presence. The trees shake and shiver as if warning me to move, they are coming. His pack is coming and you have to move. I jump up but pain over takes me and I whimper and fall to the ground. I hear him howling and hear others responding, but I just can't let him win.

I get up again and pick myself up and turn towards him. He's angry. He thought he beat me, but he soon licks his mouth and I can see blood drip from his yellow teeth. This has to end. I tense up and get ready, ready to hurt him as he hurt me. Anything, anything. I howl to the moon. I ask for guidence. I hear the trees sway, the leaves dancing, the wind singing in my ears. It says to go for his legs. I do so.

I run forwards and as he goes up, I go down, and I grab hold of his leg. He whimpers and falls, and I clench. I clench until I hear a crack. Its loud and echos through the forest. I hear the others now, and I release. Hes whimpering, and isn't moving. I tense. I turn slowly and face 5 other werewolves. They are all looking angry, when I hear movement behind me. I spin and see him growling things to his pack. He's telling them to leave me, we should go. He stands there and I let him. The pack looks reluctant, but they are soon running through the forest and out of my sight. He turns his yellow eyes towards me, and before I can go anywhere he bites my right side again. I wince in pain. More pain, and soon there is nothing. I am falling into darkness, and all I can see are his eyes. He's won again, I lost once again, nothing, darkness. Nothing. He's stronger, better, faster, He's superior to me. I lost.

My eyes snap open and I find myself in my small bedroom. I am yelling, and kicking, and I turn suddenly and fall right off of the bed flat onto the floor. I am shaking, and I sit bolt upright and no matter what I do I can't stop. Freezing cold chills sweep up and down my entire body, and my mind is moving a mile a minute. I'm tangled in sheets, and I'm covered in a cold sweat that is making me shake even more. My right side is burning as if it were just bitten. He was pissed, he was stronger. He was better, he's still better. Better then I will ever be.

I feel ill, and I'm still shaking uncontrollably, and my cut is worse then it was when I cleaned it. My shirt is soaked in blood. I desperately want to lye back down again. My head surges again and I can feel my body go completely limp. I can't fight it, so I lye on the hard dark floor. It's hard, and it's hurting my already sore body, but I can't move. My head is spinning spinning spinning, and I can't move. The blankets are tangled in my legs. He was pissed. He was pissed. I can't think, can't move, and I'm stuck laying in a too hard of floor with my too sore of a body. Sleep over takes me, and I feel nothing again. I'm too sick to think. Too weak to think. I'm not strong enough.


	4. Chapter 4

Hello again. I'm sorry it's taken so long to write this chapter, but I was having extreme difficulties getting everything I wanted into one chapter. However! It is now much better and I like it alot. Please read and review!!! thanks :) smiley pour vous

DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything mentioned in the Harr Potter books, nor do I own any of the people mentioned in Prison Break. (If you watch the show, you will see what I mean.

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Chapter 4 

I opened my eyes and stared up at the distant ceiling. I could feel the hard ground beneath me. I couldn't move. Nothing seemed to want to focus. I could feel my muscles getting more sore by the second, and I tried to move but I just couldn't. My head felt like it was stuffed with cotton. I could see little balls of light that I knew weren't there but were floating around the room. They were blue and yellow and would swirl around and around bumping into things around my bedroom. The balls of light would go in and out and get brighter with each blink I took. My eyes had fogged over, and soon the flickering light had stopped. I could feel the oxygen entering my lungs, and feel each pounding heart beat in my chest. The air would come out in currents pausing in my lungs and would hurt my sore chest. I inhaled and exhaled, and stared through the fog at nothing in paticular.

I heard a distant clock ticking. I tried to move and look at the time, but was unable to move my neck. I was still breathing slowly allowing myself to slowly let go of everything. Soon the fog turned into whiteness and I basked in the glow of the light. I knew it was my mind playing tricks on me, and this I had to fight. If I didn't fight I would surely pass out, which was not a possibility at the moment. With every fiber in my body I tried to fight the light. Soon, I started trying to move my finger tips and working from there. I made a curling motion with my fingers and curled them back and forth, back and forth. Next I moved to my hands, and I made circle motions with my wrists. My hands could move. I was making progress. I slowly lifted my arms, and I gently allowed them to fall to my sides. I finally decided that I could not be found on the ground. I forced myself to sit up. This was a mistake.

My head spun violently, and I had to grab a hold of the bed post. The light had come back and now it spread to block my entire vision. The whiteness stayed momentarily and for a breif moment I was calm. Just as quickly as the white came, it left and then the darkness hit. I clung to the bed post and hoped that I would not pass out. I gripped harder and harder until I was sure my knuckles would break under the pressure. After what seemed like an hour, I opened my eyes and found my bedroom dipped in an inky black darkness. I slowly and shakily stood up, picking up my fallen bed sheets with me. I allowed myself to collapse onto the bed and I forced myself to pull the blankets over me. The pillow was warm and soft. My head sunk deep into the cushions and my body seemed to melt away. I was nothing again and I liked it. I closed my eyes and drifted back to sleep. Silence followed and then my dreams flooded into my head allowing peace and tranquility if only for a moment.

I was being rudely awaken by someone shaking my sholder. I moaned and tried to push the hand away, but it would only go away for a second, and would come back again. I was getting flustered with this hand. It needed to die and leave me alone. I felt it's presence come back again and start to shake my sholder again. This time I scratched the hand. I heard someone yell out in pain and then felt the hand leave again. I was satisfied. The annoying hand would not bother me again. I snuggled back into the blankets and was about to fall back asleep when I felt the hands grab all the blankets and pull them off of my freezing body. I shivered and my eyes snaped open. With a lot of effor I managed to roll over onto my back and look up. James. I should have known.

His hair was messy, and he was holding my white blanets in his hands. He was tall, at least from my angle and was looking at me and frowning slightly. I was angry at him for taking my blanket. I still felt like crap, and I wasn't in the mood for this. I shivered again, and realized that I hadn't stopped since he pulled it off. Out of nowhere, my head spun again, and I moaned and rolled back over onto my stomach. I felt the cut on my side and felt the blood slowly ooze out of it. I couldn't move again and I was freezing. I shivered a little more violently and I heard my teeth chatter. I heard James say something to me, but I couldn't hear him. It was nothing but an echo. His voice would drift in and out in waves, so it was impossible for me to actually hear what he was saying. I felt the blankets get put over my fragile body. It was warm and it created a cacoon around me. I then felt James' hand on my forehead. I heard him sigh, and leave the room. I felt cold again and I gripped the blankets closer to me.

James came back into the room and was holding some sort of liquid in a bottle. He came towards the bed and pulled up the wooden chair that was seated by the desk. He opened up the bottle and handed it to me. I slowly eased myself up and looked at the bottle. "What is it?" I manged to choke out. My voice had turned raw, and it was then I knew I was sick. James looked at the bottle and finally spoke. "It's this cold syrum that Lily told me to bring you just in case. Sirius came by yesterday after work and told us that you didn't look so well. He said before you went into the house you were pale, and that he was reluctant to leave you. I told lily and she went and made the syrum." James looked slightly tired, and very concerned. He pushed the bottle closer to me and I slowly picked up the bottle and put it to my lips. I allowed the thick liquid to fill my mouth. It was bitter, and tasted vaguely like spinach, but I continued to drink it until the bottle was empty. I handed it back to James who took the bottle and put it onto my desk.

I felt the strange liquid sitting in my stomach. Lily astounded me. Even though we hardly ever spoke to one another except when James was around, she always seemed to care about my welfare. Slowly my head emptied of the fog, and I could see my room without any more fog. I had stopped shaking all together and my throat felt better. My side even seemed to improve slightly. I eased myself against the back fo the headboard and looked at James. He smiled. "Did it work?" he asked laughing slightly. I nodded and slowly pushed the blanket off. I didn't want to be in bed anymore. My legs wanted to move. I put my feet onto the cold floor. "What time is it?" I asked James. He looked at his watch. "8:09" he replied reading the watch carefully. He pushed his glasses back up his nose and ruffled his hair. "I'm getting out of bed" I told him even though I figured it was obvious. He nodded and got up and put the chair back at the desk. He grabed my arm and helped me stand. I managed to get my balance, and then I walked slowly over to the dresser and began to dig through the contents of the drawers for new clothing. I found the usual clothing necessities, and pulled of my shirt. I saw James eyes look at the bandage, and he looked like he wanted to say something but didn't.

"I cut myself" I said for him. He nodded and leaned on the door entry way. "How?" he questioned. I pulled the new shirt over my head. "I was in a fight with another werewolf" I explained carefully. "He grabbed my side, and pinned my to the ground. I had to give myself stitches, but it's healing which is the important thing." I was now taking my pants off and putting on new ones. James nodded again. "Why didn't you go to a hospital?" "Because I didn't want to" I replied dejectedly. James ruffled his hair again. "Oh" he said. A weird silence filled the room and I said nothing. I was now back on the bed putting on socks and shoes. I laced up the sneakers. They were old and beat up, but I liked them. I wished I could afford new ones, but I had no money to do so. I haven't had money for quite some time now. I stood up and turned towards James. "I'm hungry," I told him. "I want food." I looked at James who seemed rather surprised that I was hungry. "Sounds good to me" he replied and we walked into the living room where I found my key still on the coffee table where I had left it. We left my apartment and I turned and closed the door behind me. We walked down the iron stairs down five flights and we finally reached the landing.

As we were walking out, I heard Mrs. Crawford step out from behind her door. I tried to dash out the door as quickly as possible to avoid her, but it was impossible. "WEREWOLF" she shouted. I stopped dead in my tracks. James froze as well and turned around. I slowly turned around and starred at her. She was shorter then me so I had to look down at her. She was wearing the same thing that she had been wearing the last time I saw her. She gripped her cane tightly and gazed at me. "Rent?" she asked in her falsely sweet voice. I glarred at her, and replied, "not at the moment Mrs. Crawford." I felt my fists clench.

I hate Mrs.Crawford. I hated her with every fiber in my body. She smiled sweetly at me, and looked at me again. I could see that she wanted to degrade me again. She knew that James was behind her, and that we were friends. She had never had this opperunity before. I moved in a day where she was out of town. I was lucky so far because no one has ever met her up with her until now. Now she saw James and knew she could bring things out into the open as blackmail. I hated her, and I would not give her this satisfaction. Before she could say anything I roughly shoved past her, causing her to drop her cane and have her cigarette fall out of her mouth. Apparently, I shoved her so roughly that she actually toppled to the floor. Panic flooded through me so I grabbed James by the sholder and practically shoved him out of the door. I heard Mrs.Crawford shouting at me, but I didn't care. I kept on walking until soon I was running and James was running to keep up with me. I ran down the street away from her.

When I was successfully away from my apartment building, I stopped and James and I leaned against another stone wall. James was looking at me like I was crazy, but he didn't say anything. I stood there with my head against the wall drinking in the air around me. I had never given her the satisfaction of letting her get to me. Now that I pushed her down I knew I would have to deal with her later. This would not end well. I was unsure that I would be living there much longer. I did not say any of this to James. James was starring at me and said , "What was that all about? Why doesn't she call you Remus?" I sighed and starred at the filthy sidewalk under my filthy shoes. Filth. That's what she was. She was nothing to nobody, and was hated by all. In turn, she hated everyone else. She hated everyone in the whole god damn building. "She just hates me James. She hates everyone. Theres nothing anyone can do about it. I don't know what got into me back there but right then and there I just didn't want to listen to any of her bull shit. If she had her way, we would all be on the streets. She will most likely do that one day, and die alone." I kicked a pebble at my feet. James nodded silently. "I guess some people will never change" he replied quietly. I nodded and we stood against the wall. As much as I appreciated James understanding, I knew that in all honesty he would never understand. No one understands werewolves. No one. James, Sirius, Peter, they all try to understand, but in the long run I still feel alone.

I can't take the silence anymore so I turn to James. James looks up at me and we soon walk along discussing all of the possible eating places around. I tell him I have no real money to spend. "I didn't think you did," he said. "I thought I was paying." I starred at him so James hastily added, " I mean, I heard Mrs. Crawford say something to the affect of the rent. To me, it doesn't sound like that it's going to get payed any time soon. I'll pay. You concentrate on the rent. It's more important." He smiles reasuringly, and we walk on together still disscussing. It doesn't take long for me to move on from what James said. It never does anymore. We finally settle on breakfast with James mother. She has always adored all of James friends and we head over there to eat.

We apparate over and soon were in front of a huge stone house. James' parents lived in a wizarding community known for it's wealth. The houses here look like small castles, and some even have flags and towers. James parents' house is no exception. Their house is a beautiful gothic structure had been restored and new ivy clung to the sides and reached for the sun above. Cherry blossum trees lined the walk way. The lawn around it was perfectly manicured and small rose bushes also lined the walkway. Humingbirds, bees and butterflies fluttered effortlessly in and out of the plants and flew around in the sky above. There were huge windows on either side of the stone walls. Through it you could see spacious halls and rooms hidden behind silk curtains. The sky was getting cloudy and I felt sprinkles touch my skin. James walked effortlessly underneath the canopy of pink blossums. We climbed up the stone steps and up to the white front door. There was a plaque with the words Potter Residence on them. There was a wreath on the door and fragrent flowers coiled around it. Fairies flew in and out of it and when they saw James flew over to his ear and whispered something into it. James laughed and brushed them away from his ear. I smiled. I moved forward and rang the doorbell. An extremly loud chiming came from inside of the house and could be heard echoing all over. Suddenly, a door opened and for a moment I thought no one had opened it at all, but then I looked down and saw that it was only a house elf.

"Good afternoon sirs" the house elf squeeked. She was small and had the biggest blue eyes I had ever seen. She had on a tiny apron and underneath that lay a light blue dress. I was mildly shocked that the house elf was wearing nice clothing. Most of the time they wore rags, a trade mark of their kind. I looked up at James who whispered in my ear that his mother insisted that they dress nicely and had them make the clothes themselves. I laughed quietly, and turned my attention back to the tiny house elf. She smiled and small pink circles appeard on her cheeks. James bent down a little bit so that we weren't completely towering over her. "Hello there Mrs. Smiggledorf" James said. "I'm looking for my mother is she home?" I couldn't help but snicker. Smiggledorf was one of the funniest names I had ever heard. "Lola doesn't know where the Mrs' is. Lola will go and fetch her. Lola will show you into the waiting room." I proceeded to wait for this Lola person Mrs.Smiggledorf had refered to, but was surprised to see that she was refering to herself. James stepped inside and I followed behind him.

"This way please" Lola said in her small squeaky voice. She led us down a long marble corridor that were lined with art and priceless vases. In the distence I could see a suit of armor. James and I walked down this hallway and were led into a small room where there were blue couches and brown wooden tables. Underneath those were persian rugs and on the tables were blue vases filled to the brim with white roses. A family portait hung above the mantal, and James father and mother waved as we entered. James collapsed onto the couch and I went opposite of him and sat down. The couch was incredibly comfortable. In fact, it was more comfotable then my own bed. Lola smiled and told us she would be back in a minute. James nodded and closed his eyes practically falling asleep on the couch. I looked around at the sights. I was in awe with the room.The wall paper was perfect and has criss crossing flowers all over. The table had hand carved dragons for the legs. There was a chess board on the table with perfectly carved figurines of famous wizards throughout the ages. James' father was a history buff and had many odd figurines hanging around the room. I looked over at the picture of James' family. James was sitting and staring at his real self sleeping on the couch and his mother and father were whispering to each other about nothing in paticular. The hardwood floor shone due to extensive waxing. I looked behind me. Out the window you could see the walk up, and field that streatched for about a mile. In the distance, you could see another huge house. This one had a flag on it and it waved in the wind. There was an iron fence around it and I got the impression that only high upstanding citizens were allowed to enter there.

A grandfather clock struck 10 o' clock and James' eyes opened. He sat up and I smiled at him. He yawned and stretched out sleepily. He stuck one of his legs on the coffee table in front of him. James could get away with doing things like that, this was his parents house after all. Suddenly, we both heard the clacking sound of footsteps and a women talking about how happy she was because she was getting payed a visit from her darling son. I looked at James, who had promptly taken his foot off of the coffee table and began to stand. I remained seated. I would wait for her to say that we could stay before I paraded around her house. The wooden doors opened and there stood a women with brown hair that was greying and was pulled into a bun. She smiled warmly at James and rushed over and gave him a hug.

"Why James Potter, I thought you had vanished off the face of the earth!" James mother exclaimed. "After all, once you moved in with Lily, I thought she had kidnapped you! Honestly James not even paying me regular visits to your darling mother!" His mother smiled warmly and hugged him again. James laughed and ruffled his hair in a guilty sort of way. "I meant to write and stuff, but I've been busy lately, you understand don't you?" James smiled weakly. If there was one person on this planet that could make James feel guilty and behave it was his mother. James mother waved a hand in the air and smiled hugely. "I'm just pleased to have you for a visit" James and her starred at each other for a moment before James jumped and remember that I was sitting right behind him. He turned around sharply turning his mother towards me. "Mum, I brought Remus along today. He's hungry and needs your excellent food." James mother looked stunned to see me. This however does not surprise me, for the last time I saw her was about 2 years ago. I start thinking about how much time has actually passed bewtween us. I think about how her hair used to be short, and is now long. How my hair used to be short and is now long. I think about the differences between us, how she will always be rich and well taken care of and how my life is hanging on a string about to be cut by fate and missfortune. I think about how she has a husband and a healthy son, and what do I have? Some clothes, a practically empty bank volt in Gringotts and a crappy apartment which may or may not still be there when I return. I can't help frowning for a moment. Suddenly, I feel as though I don't belong. This house is too good for me, and it's useless to feel some sort of hope where there is none.

I stand up finally and walk myself towards Mrs.Potter. She is 54. She is wearing a white dress with yellow daisy's all along the trim and she has a braclet made out of dragon teeth. It clinks together when she moves her hand back and forth. I happen to know for a fact that braclet is very expensive. I think about who might have given it to her, but I don't ask. It's not my place to intrude on such things. She is staring at me up and down like the way Mrs.Crawford was doing to me earlier, only Mrs.Potter is doing it nicely. She's finding all the things wrong with me. This is a classic mothers stare, like the one my own mother gives me whenever she see's me. They both want to fix what they see but know that they can't. Mrs. Potter smiles and hugs me warmly and for a moment crushes over my cut. I wince, but try not to let it show too much. She releases me for a moment, and looks in my eyes. She has brown eyes. I never noticed before. "Remus" she said softly and delicately, "It's been too long." I smile. This women has to be one of the most understanding people I have ever met. "Come!" she says spontaneously causing James to jump, "To the kitchen! I have food like you wouldn't believe. So much that even James can't finish it." James glares comically at his mother and she laughs. They leave through the double doors and I watch them. I wish I could have what they have. I turn and stare at the picture of them above the mantle. Big, happy, full of life. Silently I leave the room closing the wooden doors behind me.

I follow James and his mother down the long marble staircase. Mrs.Potter whos first name is Martha is disscussing anything and everything. She first starts off with how nice James looks, and how nice it is to see me. Soon she moves onto James father and how he is at the office doing some surgery on one of his patients. James fathers name is Mark, and he is a healer at Saint Mungos. He works on extreme cases, and is classified as a surgeon. I hardly ever see him when I got to the hospital, because he specializes in vampires; not werewolfs. He's a nice man, and is always curdious to me. Mark spends many a day locked away in his study reading many works from well edjucated men. His mother is soon onto another topic, this time talking about some new neighbors from down the road who are a total disgrace to the community. Apparently they have the ugliest house she's ever seen, and their houselves are a disgrace. I notice how much taller James is to his mother. He must get his tallness from his father.

Finally we reach the end of the hall and there are two huge wooden doors. Mrs. Potter opens them and we walk through and into a huge dinning room. It's beautiful. One wall is completely lined with floor to ceiling windows and through them you can see distant fields and a lake surrounded by trees. The room has high ceilings and the floor is a white marble floor. In the center of the room is one of the longest tables I have ever seen. Whats most impressive about it is that it is piled with so much food, my eyes can't take it all in at once. Theres a big chandelier with crystals dangling from it. James pulls me out of my pensiveness and I see that his mother is sitting at the table. James joins her side of the table and I sit on the opposite facing them.

James mother pours tea and James begins filling his plate with all of his favorite foods. I have no idea where to start. Before I even have a chance to start, we hear the door open and we all look up to see who it could be. I see no one again. Mrs. Potter gets up and I see that it's once again a houselef. "Master of the House, Mr. Potter mame" the house elf says in a noble voice. He then steps out of the way and James father enters the room.

Mr. Potter is the spitting image of James. He has black ruffled hair, glasses, and is rather tall. He comes towars us all wearing black wizarding robes and smiling hugley. "James my boy!" He exclaims, and James comes over and they embrace strongly. Mrs. Potter flutters over and she begins talking to him. "Oh, Mr. Potter" she coos, "How you worry me so with all of your constant working!" He kisses her on the cheek and she blushes slightly. "Please Mark, not in front of our guests!" James father looks startled, and that's when he sees me. "Remus!" He exclaims again. "Didn't see you hiding over there. It's been a while my boy! You look well, those full moons have been treating you decently I presume?" I don't really know what to say. "Thank you, It's nice to see you too. You look well." I add meakly. He stares at me with the same stare that James mother gives me. There is a slightly uncomfortable silence only to be interupted yet again by James father. " Right then," he claps his hands together, "Looks like we have a wonderful splendor for breakfast this morning. Let us eat then." James father takes a seat at the head of the table and we all eat the delicious food.

I eat everything I could get my hands on. Pancakes, waffles, toast, eggs, so much fruit I lost track, and so much more. I can't remember the last time I was this full. I smile contently and look at James. He is talking about Lily. Lily and Quidditch occupy James thoughts the majority of the time. He is describing how she got a hair cut. She now has bangs apparently. He is saying how cute she looks with it, and how green her eyes look lately. James' mother is smiling happily. James father is listening also smiling at james while reading a newspaper.

Suddenly James father looks up at me and puts the paper down. "So Remus," he says to me, "How are you these days?" I don't know how to answer. I can't tell him the truth. If I told them I have been unemployed for the past month, and I may be evicted soon because I have no money to pay the rent, (let alone food), they would more then likely get upset and I would have no idea how to deal with it. They can't know this.

"It's well actually, "I lie through my teeth, " Not the best apartment I've ever lived in, but hey it's home at least." I smile to show that everything is ok, and my lie seems to work. James mother beams. "That's wonderful news Remus. Lately, It seems that every werewolf you read about in the papers are in destitute or worse!" I smile nervously, and clench my fists. My hands can't be trusted right now. James father smiles as well. "Yes, all I hear lately is how the Ministry is making crack downs on werewolf areas to transform. Have you heard anything to that nature?" I advert my eyes. Of course I've heard. It's been awful these past months. Packs of werewolfs have been broken apart, werewolfs have been transforming in parks because we can no longer find good forests to transform in. Due to this, more people are getting attacked at night because theres no where to run but city streets. The forest I transform in every night has been on traget in the past couple of months. If it gets closed as well, I'm not sure where I will go. "Yes, I have heard, but there is not much else we can do." James parents look saddened by this. James speaks up, "Why don't you try adressing your problems to the ministry". It's a nice thought, butnot good enough. I laugh bitterly, "Don't you think we've tried James? The ministry is scared out of their wits by us, that's why they close down places to transform. They think they can squash the wolf out of us by simply making it difficult for us to transform. It won't work, but goodness knows they've tried. Were not giving up that easily though. Plenty of werwolfs are starting to make stands. Who knows if it will work, but we have to do something I guess." I finish my speech and take a sip of orange juice. It's cold and thick and wonderful. I smile but realize that the rest of James' family isn't. James mother finally speaks. "That sounds awful" she says quietly. "It's not so bad, many of us have stable lives and were working with some ministry officials to make reforms. Things will change, we just have to hope." I stare at my hands. There is a scratch on one of them from the full moon. James father looks at me and smiles. "I agree Remus. Just keep up the protests, somethings about to change." I smile unsure if that will be true. It's hard to hope for something that always seems to be out of your reach.

It is now 12 in the afternoon, and we have polished off a fair amount of the food. Mrs. Potter is disscussing the annoying neighbors again and Mr. Potter is listening intentively to her. James is writing a letter to Peter seeing how he is doing in Yorkshire. It dawns on me that I haven't heard from Peter in some time. He moved from London to Yorkshire just last year for a job opportunity. He is now overseeing some new wizarding community in that area. Peter has family over there anyway, so we supported him in the decision to move. He is rather indesicive when it comes to things, and relys heavily on our opinions. I haven't written to him in quite some time. That may be because I don't have any money for parchment at the moment. Bitterness washes over me again and I stare out the window behind James. It is raining now, and the lake in the distence has ripples of rain drops pounding into the waters. It is windy and the trees are swaying back and fourth against the wind. I feel cold all of a sudden and realize that the door has been opened by a house elf and a draft is blowing in.

"Master Potter, a letter for you from St. Mungo's." The house elf handed Mr. Potter the letter and Mark took it and opened it with his finger. Martha looked up at him curiously and James put his quill down ontop of the parchement to also look at his father. James' father read the letter for a moment before finally putting it down. "It seems that one of my patients has broken one of their fangs so severly that he needs to have surgery. I shall return late tonight my dear." He stands up and walks over to me and shakes me hand. "Feel free to come here any time my boy, any time. You are always welcome. " I smile and thank him and he walks over to James and Martha and hugs them both and soon he is off.

"We should go too Remus, I have to head back home, Lily is expecting me soon" James says to me looking at the grandfather clock near the door. I nod my head in agreement, after all If I don't leave now I don't think I ever will leave. We head towards the door with Mrs. Potter following behind us. She catches up with James and she starts reminding him to say hello to darling Lily, to write, and of course bring us more often because she simply adores our visits. James nods and rolls his eyes but in the end oblidges. I smile at them, but then slowly begin to think about my own mother and start to frown. I can't remember the last time I wrote to them. It's been way to long. The thought of writing to them however was something that seemed daunting to me, so for yet another day I put it off.

We are now standing in front of the front door. James is pulling on his trench coat and his red scarf that Lily gave him for christmas last year. I pick up my brown leather jacket that is so old that the leather has actually started freying in areas. Mrs. Potter comes over and hugs me one last time. "Don't be shy Remus," she says to me gently, "You can always come to us whenever you wish too. Always." She hugs me more tightly this time and I feel her put something into my pocket. I don't dare pull it out and I move back thanking her one last time. James opens the door and soon we step out onto the front steps and silently shut the door behind us. James waves to his mother who is now watching us from the window. I laugh quietly and begin to walk away from the gorgeous house towards the front gate.

James and I are standing on the gravel pavement and I'm kicking the stones with my shoes. The wind has picked up drastically and I shiver from the wind. My hair blows in front of my eyes, and I push it out of my face carefully. I turn to James and thank him for the cold syrum. He smiles effortlessly and says, "It's no problem Remus, Lily enjoys making potions. Why, I will never know but she does." He laughs. "I really should get going though, I promised Lily I would be home before one because we have plans to go see some exhibit on some muggle artist that lily loves." James sighs patiently as If he would much rather be doing something else, but since it's his beloved Lily is doing it anyway. "That sounds nice" I say as reasuringly as I can. " I'm tired anyways, and should be going back to bed soon." James nods and stares out at the daunting house in the distence with the Iron Fence. I shiver in the wind again. "Sounds good, I'll write to you tomorrow or something. Takes care Remus." With that James smiled warmly and with a tiny pop apparated into the air.

I stood in front of James parents house silently starting at the gorgeous houses around them. Slowly I began walking down the road, not quite ready to face my crappy apartment. I walk past one house that is completely surrounded by plants and flowers. Birds float effortlessly between the brances and humingbirds make huming noises as they dart frantically form one bush to the next. The house is huge and even though the flowers are welcoming, I know someone like me would not be.

As I continue down the road I remember that Mrs. Potter put something in my jacket pocket. I pull it out and it's an envelope with my name written on the cover in green Ink. It's written in this perfect cursive that only time and patience would allow someone to master. I slip the top open with my fingernail, and find that it's a check written for 50 dollars. I shudder. That's enough to pay the Rent. A huge part of me tells me not to use it, to go and slip it through the mail box and to not except this money. It's mpity money, and you can't afford to be looked down on any more then you are. A bigger part however soon dominates and informs me that without this rent money, you have no apartment. This would mean no place to sleep, and that would mean the streets again.

I never told anyone, especially not James and Sirius, but for a short time after Hogwarts I was actually living on the streets. I lived on them for about 2 months, and it was the worst time of my life. James and Sirius were under the impression that I was living with my parents, and my parents were under the impression I was rooming with friends. It was the perfect way for them to not to figure out that I was on the streets. I hated excepting charity form people, and knew I had to work this out on my own. The streets were and still are dank, dark, freezing, unpredictable, everything. I had this constant cold that would not leave. People around me carried there stuff with them wherever they went, and I was no exception. Myself and others would wait for shop owners to not notice and proceed to steal as much food that we could get our hands on. It was much easier to do this with magic, for no one caught you in the muggle world. I had to sleep under highway overhangs as to not get wet by rain. I took showers at public pools for muggles at midnight by apparating into them. Life was miserable and for brief periods of time, I was not sure it would ever improve.

Finally however I managed to somehow save up enough money to afford a place to live. It was very difficult because I kept getting fired form one job to the next. I have worked more jobs then anyone I know combined. I managed to do it though and went and found the cheapest apartment I could find. That was the place I lived now. 50 dollars a month, for one bathroom one small kitchen, and the smallest living room and bedroom I know. It was however, much better then the streets. I haven't left yet, but lately have been far to slack on the rent. Mrs. Crawford will surely want to throw me out into the streets, and in all honesty, I'm not sure I could take it again. I am once again not strong enough.

I walk bitterly down the gravel road tearing apart my brain thinking about the decisions I would be having to make. I was still conflicted by the time I reached the gateway to the village. A huge Brick overhang with _Harrison Village_ written in Gold letters. I felt small under the overhang, unimportant, insignifigent. I went past them, past the guard, and began walking down the barren empty road towards the wealthy part of London. I could feel rain begin to splatter onto my arms again and slowly it got harder and harder, so that I had to run underneath a tree to stay dry. The constant running to find shelter reminded me of living on the streets. I reluctantnly admited to myself that I needed to use this money regardless if I wanted to or not. The sky darkened dramatically I realized that I could walk no longer and decided to apparate back. With one swift motion, I was flying through the air and just like that I was back into the destitute standing in front of my apartment building.

What greeted me there surprised me. There was a van, with the side reading _Warlock and sons Moving Company. _I starred at the truck unable to think clearly. Then I remembered. On my floor, there was one empty apartment. I would have rented it out myself, but it was too expensive for me. It had 2 bedrooms, and a much larger kitchen and living room then I had. It had been on rent for quite some time now. The previous neighbor turned out to be a criminal the ministry had been trying to catch for years. Who would have known. Anyways, he was taken away and the apartment went back up for rent. I guess someone bought it.

I was just about to walk into the building and drop the check off at Mrs. Crawfords when a man holding a heavy box came out of the moving van. He didn't see me, and he collided with me causing me to lose my balance and fall to the ground. The man quickly put the box down as quickly as he could and rushed over to me to help me up. "I am so sorry about that" the man said quickly and helped me to my feet. My side stitched up tightly and I grimmaced as I stood. "Oh no!" the man said "Are you hurt?! I'm so sorry." "I'm fine honest," I said as politely as I could. "I've gotten worse injuries trust me." The man smiled and it was then I noticed how pale he was. He had short black hair and it was spikey, and in his eyebrow was a piercing of what looked like a small knife. He was tall, taller then me, and he had yellow eyes. They were very untantural. "I'm Michael" the man said extending his hand. I took it, but his hands were freezing. I flinched at the cold and moved my hand. "Oh yeah," Michael chuckled, "curse of the vampire, always have cold hands." I nodded. That explained why he was so pale.

"Nice to meet you" I said politely, shoving my hand into my pocket to try and get the warmth back. "Moving then I see." Michael nodded. "Yes, I'm moving in with my life partner Alex." I froze. I had never met a gay vampire before. " Alex?" I questioned. I looked around, I didn't see anyone else. Michael looked around also. "That's odd" Michael said softly, "He was here a second ago…". Suddenly Mrs.Crawford came rushing out of the house screaming that someone was trying to attack her. I saw Michael clench up a little and turn to face her. Her hand was bloody, and that's when we realized where Alex was. Another tall man came running after Mrs.Crawford with a look of desperation on his face. He was hungry, hungry for Mrs.Crawford. Michael also looked like he wanted the blood, and began to rush forward when suddenly another person came out. It was a women this time.

The girl ran out and seemed to grab both Alex and Michael away from Mrs.Crawford. Mrs. Crawford was screaming for the entire neighborhood to hear, hiding behind a blue couch. Her hands were over her eyes screaming like a banchee. I turned my attention back towards the girl and realized that she had something in her hand that made them stop. It looked like a bottle of a red liquid. They both drank some, and soon calmed down. Michael and Alex were now both sitting on the curb silently starring at the street. The women turned around and looked at Mrs.Crawford and came over and tried to calm her down a little, for she was still screaming like she was being murdered.

"There now," the women said gently, "It's only a cut." The girl pulled out what looked like gauze out of her pocket and then gently took Mrs.Crawfords gross, withered hand and wrapped the cut in gauze. Mrs.Crawford looked stunned and promplty got up from behind the couch and marched away from the women without even thanking her. The women just sighed and put the gauze back into her pocket. I felt stupid just standing on the sidewalk, so I decided to go and see if the women needed any help. I walked over to her and tapped her on the sholder. She turned around and I finally got a good glimpse of her.

She had light brown hair that went down to her sholders, and unlike Michael and Alex, she was not a ghostly pale. She had peach colored skin and blue eyes. She had roundish cheeks that were still slightly pink from running. She was tall and was wearing a grey sweatshirt and brown pants with brown sneakers. Overall she was just your average women. Not what I was expecting. She smiled and shuffled a little in a nice manner. "Hello" she said politely. "Hello" I responded just as nicely. "That was interesting" I said trying to make small talk. She laughed, "yes It was, They didn't have breakfast this morning." She smiled again in a comical way. I laughed. "Oh really? Well that would explain it then." There was a silent pause for a second, and then I outstreached my hand and let the women take it. "I'm Remus Lupin, I live in the apartment next to the one Michael and Alex are moving into." She smiled nicely, "Oh!" she exclaimed "Then we will be neighbors!" I looked at her curiously. "You're living with them too?" I questioned. She nodded, "Yeah, I'm a good friend of theirs. I needed a place to stay, so I'm living with them now. I'm Sarah by the way" she said still holding a firm grip on my hand.

I wasn't sure what to say. I had never heard of a normal witch living with vampires before in my life. In history texts they always tell you to use extreme caution, yet here was a women not even afraid to have her blood sucked clean out of her in the middle of the night. Curiosity flooded through me, and before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "Aren't you afraid of living with them?" she chuckled. "Of course not, I love both of them very much, they wouldn't dare hurt me. Besides, as long as they drink some blood in the morning and before they sleep at night, I'm perfectly safe. Don't you worry" she said while winking. I just nodded. Finally I gave up trying to figure out how anyone could live that way, and decided to help them. "Would you like some assistence? It seems like if one of you cuts yourself, this could take all day." Sarah smiled and nodded yes. "That would be great! If you could just grab the box here, and well, you know where to go." I bent over and picked up the box.

After helping my new neighbors into their apartment, I finally managed to go down and pay my rent. I hated to admit it, but I was actually looking forward to seeing Mrs.Crawfords face when I gave her the check. I walked back down the stairs and landed finally in the lobby. It was even more smokey then usualy, and I could see that Mrs.Crawford had been smoking more then usual. The vampires must have scared her more then she let on. I knocked on her door and when no one answered, decided to just open the door. I did so and saw that she was sound asleep in her chair. I starred at her sleeping figure. I controled my urge to not hurt her, and coughed extremly loudly so that she would wake up. She jerked her head up and starred at me rather evily. "What do you want werewolf?" she wheezed. I waved my hand in front of my face to clear some of the smoke out of the way while she looked at my impatiently. I pulled the envelope out of my pocket and pulled out the check and handed it to her.

She took it dumbly and starred at it. "What is this?" she asked curiously as if she had never seen one before. "In common society it's known as a check. It's used to pay things with using our currency. I am using it to pay for the rent." She glarred at me. "I know what it is werewolf, I mean to say where did you get it?" I looked at her and smiled. "I don't think that's any of your business." She looked murderous but I didn't care. "Now, you got your money, and all is right with the world." I put my hands in my pocket. "If you don't mind" I finished, "I have to get back upstairs to my apartment, I'll be seeing you." She was starring at me with her mouth hanging open and I swiftly walked out of the room and headed towards the stairs laughing to myself the entire way there.

Slowly I walked up the stairs towars my apartment. I could hear suffling of things and a female voice belonging to Sarah yelling, "NO DON'T MOVE THAT!" when suddenly a huge crashing noise filled the hallway. I winced, shook my head and moved onto my apartment. Thankfully, due to magic, the walls were soundproof. I found my key and put it into the lock and slowly turned the key hearing a small click and pushing the door open. I entered and closed the door behind me. I smiled to myself. The room was dark, after all it was 10 pm. My day had improved drastically from the morning. It had started off rotten, but for once life was actually ok. I wasn't out on the street, I still had a full stomach from breakfast, and I had nice non criminal neighbors. I yawned hugely and found that I was actually quite exhausted. I pulled of my leather jacket and hung it up. I then proceeded to pull off my shirt and walk shirtless into the bathroom. After about 30 minutes, I was done due to having to clean out my stitches again.

Quietly I walked to my bedroom. I changed into pajama pants and pulled on a new shirt. Slowly I got into bed and pulled up the covers. Something was missing though. I realized that I hadn't read in more then a week, so I got up quickly and pulled out a book from my bookshelf. I read about 5 chapters before I looked up at the clock. It was 12:54 in the morning and I figured that I needed to get some sleep. I reluctantly put the book on the desk and turned the light off with my wand. I pulled the blankets up and slowly allowed nothing but sleep into my mind until soon I was fast asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

So here it is!!! I am super sorry that it took forever to get this chapter out. This summer was crazy and I just did not have the time to write like I did before. Also, this chapter was really hard for me to just crank out. I had to push myself to get it just right. I am satisfied with it now, and I hope that you all like it! (btw, the new character introduced in the story is based of one of really close friends.)

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, Prison Break, or POTO. (you will see why for the last one.)

and now...the long awaited chapter 5.

* * *

The night feels still as I hear my breathing surround the air around me. I have awoken from a sleep that feels as if it was there for only 5 minutes. I sigh and look at the clock. It reads 12:47. This doesn't help matters. I want sleep so badly I would do anything to get it. My mind turns around and around filling in the empty spaces that fill my mind. I try to stop thinking about things, but I can't.

First I think about Mrs.Crawford. I don't know why I would, because most of the time I make it a point not to, but for some reason she drifited into my never ending thoughts. She seems lonely, desperate, sad. I wonder what she was like as a child. I wonder what made her that way. I will never ask her however, because it is not my place. She must have had some sort of heartbreak in her life, and heartbreak is never easy to fix. No one would be able to help her. Soon my mind turns over to James and Lily. They seem happy, and I wonder if James will finally build up enough nerve to ask her to marry her. It would be about time, concidering. I grow bitter at them despite myself. I hate that he has someone, someone that will love him no matter what. I don't even get that from my parents. At this thought my mind moves to them. I start thinking of my mother. Her teary eyes, her sad expressions she gives me whenever she catches my own eyes. Then of course theres my father. I feel myself shudder at his memory.He hates me and I hate to say that the feeling is mutual. His angry expression in my mind makes me think of when I was bitten. This however gets shoved out of my brain as quickly as it came. I am not thinking about that. Thinking. My mind is never ending.

I sit up and pick up my book again. Many a time I have picked up a book to calm my mind and make me tired once again. However, my mind is by far to restless to read this particular book. I need something that makes me tired whenever I read it. I think for a moment and decided what the perfect book would be. Finally it comes to me. I decide on one book that I remember my father reading to me often when I was little. It was called _Time in the Eyes of a Wizard. _There was no book I found more dull in my entire life. It was a thick volumed book with a hard bound cover. It wasn't even a cover with pictures or some weird pattern. No, this book was red, and a dirty rusty red at that. It was freying at the edges and the Bold gold lettering was now a bronze color. The letter z in wizard was now green. Sirius once spilled coffee on the cover so there was now a coffee stain on the lower corner. I delicately hold it in my hands. Despite myself, I find that I am smiling. Images of me reading it when I was younger come out of the woodwork. I would sit under the handmade quilt my mother had made and read for hours on end, until I fell asleep. Those were the only good times I had, before my "accident". I crack open the book to the first chapter. It's intro beings with a boring introduction from the author. He is disscussing something about light and the speed at which it travels compared to sound waves. I find none of this fastinating however and I soon grow weary at his dull talk. The words soon drone over my eyes and into a blur of nothing. He has now moved onto talking about his experiences at Oxford, some famous muggle college, and how he learned many a thing from those timeless muggles and their strange habits. I thought that was a bit rude of him to remark on but my mind was now getting clouded over with useless facts that I let it fly past me. I soon found my hands could no longer flip pages well and I had accidently skipped 20 pages. I sighed and put the book down.

My trick had worked. I now felt exhasted and too tired to think about anything except time and the space continum. I started thinking about the plantes and stars and how we spin around and around the sun. The moon drifted into my mind, and I found myself feeling stiff, but I let it pass. Soon a thick cloudyness set in my head. I tried to move a strand of hair that had fallen in front of my face out of the way, but I was too tired to do so. I stared at the dark room when suddenly my mind snapped shut and I was pushed into sleep faster then I had realized.

I was in my bedroom and everything around me looked normal. It was queer, because even though I was in my bedroom, it was slowly turning into my bedroom that I had when I was a child. There was the small window facing the fields and the distent forest in the distance. I could see the sun setting and soft fluffy clouds floating lazily out of the way slowly turning to a distant fog.I could see twilight stars starting to form. It was very peaceful. I went to turn around when I walked face into my father. He was old as he was now, and his hair was greying as mine was now. He had an expression of pure contempt on his face and I felt a sudden fear that was unexplanible. He looked as if he was going to hurt me, even though somehow I knew he wouldn't be able too. He began to stalk towards me in a very threatening way and I soon grew rigid in defense.

_As he stalked towards me, I deftly blocked myself with my hands. When my hands touched the front of his shirt, he turned into a marble statue. The marble was cold and clean to the touch. I flinched backwards because I was not used to such a beautiful marble. It was the most gorgeous cream color I had ever seen. All of his features were etched into the marble; his hair, his defined nose, his eyes which could have been mistaken for my own , his strong hands that still have calisses on them from years of work on the local iron smith company. I wanted to touch him but I was uncertain as to if I should. There was a thin layer of smoke going between us. The fog began to thicken, and before it obscured my vision I touched my father._

_The minute my hand touched his cheek, a crack began to form from the tip of my finger. It spread and spread until soon it was covering his eyes. The cracks were getting deeper and darker, and soon I was scared it would shatter. I moved my hand away and saw that the cracks continued on. It was now over his hair, past his neck, down the arm of his worn leather jacket and flannel shirt. His kakhi pants soon craked, along with his worn worker boots. The once smooth marble now had cracks all along the edges. It looked like when a baseball hits a window but the glass has not broken down yet; It is still in place, but the slightest touch would crumble it into infinate amounts of pieces. I stood confused as to what to do when suddenly I heard the calm and quiet sigh of my mother. She was behind me and she came up and touched my sholder delicately. _

"_Mum" I replied startled. I jumped around and got a good look at her. Her silver hair gleamed in the now almost completely set sun. She looked to me and shook her head silently. She gently reached over and barley touched it when all the pieces of my father fell to the ground. They slipped through the cracks in the floor, they flew out the window. I ducked but one managed to knick my neck. I touched to see if I was bleeding but saw that I was bleeding black blood. My mother looked to me and shook her head filled with sadness._

"_Mum! You broke him!" I whispered to her in disbelief. _

_I was now on the ground trying frantically to put back together the pieces. It was becoming useless and I gave up quickly. I looked to my mother who was now starring out the window. I walked over to her and saw that it was now night out. She was staring at the bright moon in the sky. It was covered with clouds. She turned to me and swiftly opened the window and pushed my out. "Mum!"I yelled out, but she didn't hear me. She just went and closed the window. I felt outraged, and tried to grab hold of something, but there was nothing around me. I just fell and fell and fell. _

_Finally I landed in a field of grass, compeltely unharmed. The moon was now full but for some reason I wasn't changing. Looking up, I could see that I was on the border of the forests near my house. Edging forward, I entered the forests depths. I walked around and around the trees ducking under branches that seemed incredibly ancient with all of it's twisted roots. I gazed up into the trees that I had climbed, that I hugged, my old hiding places. A noise came from behind me, and I spun around startled. The silence edged on, but no one was there. I decided to continue walking on, though something in my head was screaming for me to turn back._

_I soon entered a clearing, a very familiar clearing. Again I heard a noise and spun around to face whoever, or whatever caused it. Suddenly a low deep growl seemed to plunge through the depths of the dark and yellow eyes gleamed out of the dark. A low deep laugh emitted from the trees and Greyback entered the clearing._

My eyes snapped open and I jumped up so that I was now sitting blot upright. I felt cold, colder then I had in days. My bedroom came around me and slowly I began to realize that I was in my apartment. I was not at my parents house, there was no forest, and defenitly no Greyback. I shivered at the memory of his eyes, so cold and yellow. I brushed my hand on something hard and flinched looking down to see what it was. Of course, it was the history of time book. I picked it up and felt the weight of it. I suddenly felt furious at the book. I picked it up and hurled it at the opposite wall. My strength surprised me because it flew at such a speed that I barely saw it myself. It hit the wall with a huge bang and I heard it fall to the floor. The cover was now open and the pages were getting bent in places. I was angry at everything that dream had told me. I was furious that the dream had ended, what I wouldn't give to let Greyback have it.

Slowly my body and my mind gained composure and I stood up and went to pick up the book. I couldn't leave it there. I looked at the clock and saw that it was now 5 in the morning. That was a descent time to wake up. I yawned and walked over to the book shelf and put the book back. I looked out the window and from what I could see, the sky was turning a lighter shade of black. It was deep and it flowed into a deep blue and lighter shades of blue. I sat and starred at the morning stars still lingering in the sky.

I stood in the frame of the window for a long time. The sky changed before my eyes revealing slips of yellow and purple, orange and red. I was starring at the street below and seeing bits of light hit the pavement. Slowly but surely a bright light emerged itself from hidding. The sun took up into the horizon and blinded my vision. My eyes watered from the sudden impact of light, but I forced myself to watch. The colors around the sun were now brilliant shades of purple and orange and red. I smiled despite myself. There was absolutely nothing more beautiful then a sunrise. Forcing my eyes to look away, I looked into my now dull bedroom at the clock. It was 5:45. I sighed and headed towards the bathroom.

I flicked on the light and looked at myself. I had dark circles under my eyes, but then again, I always had dark circles under my eyes. My hair was actually well managed for having such an awful dream. I pulled out a brush and began taking out the few knots that had managed to find it's way in there. I then pulled out a razor and shaved. I hated not shaving, there was just something wrong in the morning if I didn't shave. I then washed off my face and pulled off my shirt to look at my side. I pulled off the guaze and began to change it. It was oozing with blood slightly and I quickly pulled out a towel and dabbed it. It didn't require much cleaning and soon a new bandage was put on in place. It felt much better then the first day. I brushed my teeth and then proceeded to leave the bathroom.

I entered the bedroom again which brought back bad vibes. The sooner I get out the better. Swiftly I made my way over to my dresser and pulled out one of the newer pair of jeans I owned. They were dark blue and had only 2 holes in it (a big achievement). I pulled out a plain grey tee shirt that felt loose on me but I didn't care. I pulled out a brown jacket and pulled that on over my arms. It was also loose and made gentle, warm bundles around my arms. I sat down on the bed and put on socks. I then pulled out my decaying tennis shoes and laced those up. I walked out into the livingroom.

The room was slightly small and I could see the front door from my bedroom doorway. I was looking for my bookbag. This was offering a problem, because The room was so cluttered with books that I couldn't see where I put it. It was no where. I dug apart the room pulling stacks of books up with me. Finally I sighed and picked up my wand that was laying on the coffe table and muttered _accio book bag_. The book bag, which had somehow ended up underneath the couch flew out hitting me in the face. If I were James, I would have caught that deftly. However, this was me and I had no hand eye coordination. I grumbled at the bag and flung it over my sholder putting in two more books with me. I hated leaving the house without a book, so now I felt at ease. I rummaged around the coffee table for a moment under the books until I found my key again. I picked it up and headed over for the door opening it and softly closing it behind me. I stepped out into the hallway and drifted down the dark hallway. I heard quiet music playing in Michael, Sarah, and Alex's new flat. It was an eerie classical song that I heard once at my favorite book store. I believe it was "Moonlight Sonata" by beethoven. I smiled at the song and continued down the hall and towards the iron stairs. I walked down them quietly, because they had a tendency to squeak under footsteps, and it was early. I swiftly made my way down and stood in the hallway for a moment collecting myself and continued towards the front door.

Thankfully, it was so early that even Mrs.Crawford wasn't even awake yet. It was normal for Alex and Michael to be awake, after all vampires don't sleep. They relax. Sometimes, I think that it would be nice not to sleep. Not to dream. Dreaming can be painful sometimes. I walked down the hallway which still smelt strongly of cigarettes. I had to unlock the front door again so I pulled out the key and pushed it into the ancient lock. I pushed open the door and walked through it and onto the landing. Quietly as I could I closed the door behind me and breathed in the fresh air. It was crisp and clear as only 6 in the morning can give you. I gazed around the side walk momentarily and thought about where I would like to go. I could go anywhere I wanted, anywhere at all. I decided on Diagon Alley. Many years of not having any money had taught me how to be an excellent window shopper. With a quick blink, I apparated. I felt myself go flying through the air at such a high speed. The air around me seemed to tighten till I almost couldn't breathe anymore. It had the odd sensation of losing gravity and being sucked into nothingness. Just when I thought I couldn't not breathe for one more second, I was there. I situated myself and brushed my jeans down a little. I collected my thoughts and looked up at the vacant street, and into Diagon Alley.

Diagon Alley was one of my favorite places in the whole world. I loved the shops that surrounded the road, the typical wizarding family's walking around. I loved the benches, the trees, the fences. I even loved the cobblestone roads. It was empty now, except for your typical early bird shoppers trying to snag a good deal. I heard one woman arguing about the price of some fish scales. She was shouting how outrageous it was. I had to admit, the shop keeper was asking 5 galleons for just one pound. That was insanely out of my price range. I continued down the street and watched as the sun filtered it's way through the now overcast sky. I decided that I wanted to stop and read. It was nice and I felt like being lost in a good book. I found a bench outside of the Owl Imporium and listened to their hooting. I smiled as I watched two owls sleeping. I dug through my bag for a moment and pulled out my latest novel _Mysterious Phantoms and Where to Find Them. _It was proving to be a good read, and I was learning a lot about phantoms. I had never known much about them before now.

I could feel time passing as I sat in my revery of reading. I tend to get lost when I read, losing track of everything. I can completely drown out everything and feel like I was in the novel sitting at the table eating dinner with the family, running away from a flock of bats, feeling unbearably cold in the bleak winters of Russia. I love this feeling of losing everything. It makes me feel peaceful, calm, silent. The silence of my mind is when I enjoy myself the most. I like not feeling anything for just a brief moment in time. For once, no one judges me, and I don't judge myself. Books were my best friends growing up, and sometimes it still feels that way.

The book was almost over, they were disscussing a mythical phantom known as Eric who lived in Paris. I found him to be a bit disturbing. I would hate to work at the theatre that he supposedly haunts. I could hear people shouting to one another, people laughing and quickly running past me. It was as if I was invisible sitting alone on the bench. I felt someones presence next to me, and for a brief moment I looked over. I had to do a double take, but it only turned out to be Sirius. He was laughing at me.

"Honestly Remus, do you like being anti social, or are you just a book freak?" Sirius said politely.

"How very charming Sirius. Do tell me, do you get your kicks making others stop the edjucational process in which you love to toss out the window?" I replied just as politely.

Sirius scoffed. "Fine. Be anti social, I see how it is." Sirius gave me that non chalant look he usually gave someone when he wanted something. I sighed.

"Alright Sirius, what do you want?" I was slowly putting my book back. I wasn't going to get to read anymore of it.

"James and I were wondering, well mostly me, if we could get ice cream. James is insistant that it's too early, but I think that 9 am is a perfect time for ice cream. Don't you?"

It was then that I noticed that James was standing opposite me starring at me with curiosity. I continued to stare at both them, wondering how long they were actually there. I realized that I had been silent for a long time and they were looking at me like there was something desperately wrong with me. I coughed as if that were the problem and then turned my attention to both of them. "Personally, I find that Ice Cream is good in any shape or form at any given point during the day. I don't know what James problem is. As for getting some ice cream, I encourage you to get some while I stay here and read my book." I smiled at how crafty I was and began to pull out my book again, when James sharp senses kicked in and he grabbed my book bag clean out of my hands. "Ah ah ah" James said holding the book bag behind his back and waving a finger in my face. "You are getting some with us." I frowned. "But I'm almost done with it! Anyways, I like being anti social, lot less talking involved." I frowned hoping he would give it back, but he didn't and proceeded to grab my arm and pull me forward towards the ice cream shop. Sirius followed behind me like a loyal puppy excited for a treat.

We entered the ice cream parlor and a little bell rang above our heads. Sirius pushed me in and asked me what I wanted, apparently Sirius was treating. I shrugged my shoulders and gazed absentmindedly at the board that held all of the ice cream flavors. There were tons. There were your typical flavors, chocolate, vanilla and strawberry. But then there were some random flavors such as grasshopper, blood, and fiji lizard tongues. I shuddered at what that last one tasted like. Sirius had apparently at one point tasted every single flavor they offered. He claims that blood is too thick, grasshopper gets caught in your teeth, and fiji lizard tongues taste like kiwis. I didn't trust Sirius on food flavors. I sometimes think that sirius isn't human, he can eat anything. We've often dared him to eat gross things and he would do it anyway, barely flinching. We would all shake our heads and lose our appetites. Hopefully Sirius would behave himself today and get something normal. I decided on strawberry with a chocolate swirl. It sounded appealing. James got mint chocolate chip, and Sirius got tripple chocolate. We all left happily eating our ice cream when Sirius said we should sit and not walk around. I oblidged, for I was feeling lazy and was not in the mood to walk around.

We all sat there disscussing nothing in paticular when James suddenly stopped and looked behind him. Someone was calling his name. Sirius didn't even look up. He merely replied, "It's your lover Lily Evens." Sirius had an astoundingly good sense of hearing. Due to being a dog, he was able to hear things that most humans wouldn't hear. Once, Sirius passed a test because he claimed to be hearing the answers that Snape was muttering to himself throughout the entire test. Sirius had neglected to study for that paticular test. We used Sirius to eves drop when we were desperate to hear something.

James perked up and got up to greet Lily. Lily approached us wearing a green sweater and brown cordiroy pants. She had on black boots and her red hair was down over her sholders. She was holding a brown bag. I was vaguley reminded of an apple tree. She walked over in her delicate nature and James was beaming as she gave him a kiss right on the mouth in front of us. She giggled and laughed out "Your mouth tastes like mint and chocoalte!" She then proceeded to kiss him some more. I looked away. I didn't like watching people have a make out session. I noticed that Sirius was doing the same. Soon they were done and Lily pulled a chair up next to me but facing James. She smiled at us and turned her attention to me.

"Hello Remus, I see my cold potion worked wonders." She laughed a little and smiled again. Little pink spots on her cheeks appeared. I smiled back, "Yes it worked great, you need to make me more of that." She laughed. It was easy to make her laugh when James was around. She glarred mockingly at Sirius. "So Black how are you?" She cocked an eye brow attempting to be insanely menacing. Sirius laughed and exposed a flash of his white smile. "I'm good Evens…how are you?" Sirius and Lily had the annoying habit of calling each other by their surnames.

"I'm good Black. I just came by to see the boys. I haven't talked to either of you for so long!" Lily exclaimed looking towards Sirius and myself. Sirius merely shrugged his sholders like he always did. I smiled encouragingly at Lily. I always had good conversations with Lily and truth be told, she's good company. James smiled at Lily. "That's nice of you Lily" James replied. Lily just smiled.

I was finished with my ice cream, as were Sirius and James. "Shall we go off for a stroll maybe?" Lily asked us. Sirius looked eager to go somewhere so off we went down the lane. James and Lily locked hands and Lily rested her head on James sholders. I had never noticed how much taller James was to Lily. James looked like he was in heaven. Honestly, that boy fell for Lily good. Come to think of it, Lily looks like she's in heaven too. They're both smiling way too much.

We hadn't been walking long, when Lily suddenly jerked her head off of James sholders and stopped walking. She peered towards the front of a robe shop and squinted her emerald green eyes. James looked alarmed at her peculiar behavior, when suddenly Lily let out a shriek that made everybody around us jump. "PHOENIX!" Lily screamed. Pheonix? What ,did she see one? I looked around the square as did Sirius and James, but then we noticed that Lily was looking at a person, not a bird.

The girl turned her head and looked over her sholder towards us. I could see that the girl was squinting when suddenly she broke into a huge smile and screatched out "LIILY!" just as loudly as Lily had done moments before. The mysterious girl ran over and locked Lily in a huge hug. They were both laughing really loudly and James looked rather frightened of Lilys behavior. She usually didn't act this way towards people. The two of them jumped around and around dancing in circles. Finally they broke apart beaming.

The girl named Phoenix was slightly tall, and absolutely gorgeous. She had long brown hair and these eyes that were the exact same color as milk chocolate. Her cheeks were slightly rosy, and her smile seemed effortless.

"Oh my goodness! Phoenix! How long has it been…3 years?" Lily questioned.

"Yes, 3 years sounds about right…" Phoenix said beaming. "You came to see my in your 6th year for christmas, so yeah 3 years!"

"I'm so happy to see you! What brings you to England?" Lily asked.

Phoenix looked around at all of us before she replied. "I got a job here in England designing robes for different shops. I was just over at Madame Malkins to drop off her order of new fabrics. She was friendly, but a little too chatty." Phoenix looked around at all of us again. "Who are they?" she questioned Lily, "your many admirers?"

Lily laughed, "Only one I'm afraid. This is my boyfriend James Potter, and his friends Remus Lupin and Sirius Black." Lily pointed to each of us in turn and Phoenix smiled at each of us. However, when her gaze met Sirius, she seemed to lock her eyes and it was as if all of us dissapeared. Sirius smiled one of his dazzaling smiles and Phoenix smiled even wider.

"So, Phoenix do you want to walk around with us or do you have somewhere to go?" Lily asked looking from her to Sirius and back again. Phoenix wasn't paying attention to Lily anymore. She seemed lost in Sirius' smile. "Hello…Phoenix…are you there?" Lily said waving her hand in front of Phoenix's face.

"oh…Sorry Lily…I was just…looking." Phoenix stated lamely. She unwillingly turned her attention to the rest of us and smiled politely. "Unfortuantely, I have to get back to work. Were expected to make 4 robes each to fulfill the order for some big shot in India. Maybe some other time soon though ok?" Phoenix said sounding dissapointed.

Lily looked crestfallen as well. "Yes, defenitly. Heres my number…call me when you can!" They smiled at each other and gave each other huge hugs before she started to leave.

"Bye Phoenix" Sirius said pleasantly. Phoenix gazed up again startled and began to walk away when she collided with a middle aged witch with a ragged hat. The fabric that phoenix was carrying in a bag fell to the ground and rolled out like extremely ornate carpet rugs. The middle aged witch yelled out in surprise and stormed away in a huff leaving Phoenix blushing and hurridly trying to pick up the fabric in a haste. Sirius then effortless bent over and quickly picked up several rolls handing them back to Phoenix. Phoenix blushed a deeper shade of pink, but smiled never the less, taking the fabric, thanking Sirius, and hurridly walking around the corner and out of sight.

Lily huffed at Sirius. "What did I do now Evans?" Sirius asked sounding amused with himself.

"Must you do that to every single girl that passes your vision?"

"Do what?" Sirius said sounding confused but still amused.

"Oh come on Sirius, you saw how she acted when you smiled at her."

"I know, but I unlike you, took that as a good sign. A very good sign." Sirius smiled that devilish grin of his and began to walk down the road again.

Lily scoffed, but James just took her hand and whispered in her ear, "Let him be, it'll pass it was nothing serious." Lily didn't seem to think this way but reluctantly followed after Sirius. I paused laughing to myself and followed them down the lane as well.


End file.
